Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Back to the ER again...

On Monday the kids didn't have school so they were all home.  I woke up feeling pretty good and my mom, Scott, Sadie and I were going to go to Sears because my mom had to pick something up and Sadie needed some new church shoes.  She had been wearing her sandals all winter and I figured we should probably get her some that would at least cover her feet when it snowed.  We got in the car and that is when I started to realize I wasn't doing as great as I thought I was.  My head started hurting in the car.  Whenever we hit a bump or anything it really hurt my head.  So we went to Sears and found 2 pairs of shoes for Sadie and paid only like 9 dollars or something because of some cash that my mom had with the store (thanks mom!).  So when we got home from that trip, I took some of the stronger medication and sat around the rest of the day.  I think I remember my friend Robyn and her two girls stopping by and I talked with her for a bit.  I kept saying sorry because I was on my stronger medication so I was worried I was saying weird things.  Ha ha.

Then i just was getting worse and worse...I laid down in my bed and I remember hearing Rob and the kids start family home evening.  The next thing I know Rob came into the room and I told him my head was really hurting.  (I think all I said was "it hurts it hurts it hurts!!!" ha ha) So he thought a change of position might help.  I remember him picking me up and transferring me to the floor with my feet up on a chair.  Next thing I can remember is my mom coming in and kneeling on the floor next to me.  That is when I threw up.  Fortunately I had one of those handy barf bag that the ER nurse gifted me at the ready.  I threw up and then went back to sleep.  That is the last thing I remember from Monday night.  I guess at about midnight Rob tried to wake me up and he wasn't able to.  I wasn't responsive so he packed me into the van and he sped me to the ER and had to keep pushing me back onto the seat because I was kinda flopping over.  When we got there he said he tried to get me out of the car but didn't feel like he could without whacking my head on the door frame.  So he ran (lickety-split) into the ER and told a nurse that I was unresponsive and he needed help getting me out of the car.  So the nurse came out and helped get me onto a wheelchair...

...(Rob typing) I had just got off of a conference call with President Trump and Supreme Leader Kim helping them negotiate NK's nuclear disarmament.  I told them I couldn't talk long because Lindsey was in need.  So after getting off the phone with them I ran into the ER and got the ER nurse.  He accompanied me and helped me lift Lindsey into the wheelchair and we went into the ER.  If you remember the last time in the ER we had to wait for a long time.  This time not so.  The immediately recognized my famous visage and got a room ready (room 19) as we walked back.  Being the modest man that I am I decided to not sign any autographs on the way back to the room.  I told my fans that I'd be available once they stabilized Lindsey.

In the room they stripped Lindsey down and put on the revealing but not very flattering one piece hospital suit.  I asked if they had an outfit more befitting her high social status, but they did not.

I noticed that her head had swelled up considerably.  That had me pretty worried.

The doctors came in and began to do tests on her.  "Lift your left leg."  She lifted her left leg.  "Lift your right leg."  She didn't/couldn't.  "Follow my finger with your eyes."  She was able to.  "Can you speak?"  She could not.  They noted that her right eye wasn't dilating.  Then they left.  I started to feel fear sneak in, probably for the first time during this ordeal.  I thought I might lose her.  That was tough for me.  I prayed and cried a bit.  The came back in pretty quick and whisked her off to for a CT scan.

...(Lindsey typing now)I guess on Monday night around 1:30 am my mom woke up Scott and told him she wasn't going to be able to sleep and asked him if he wanted to watch "Hidden Figures" with her.  So they watched it in the middle of the night.  We had rented it earlier that day because we were going to watch it that night. I "woke up" Tuesday morning around 9 am.  I realized I was in the hospital and Rob was sleeping in the oh so comfortable rocking chair in the Nuero ICU room.  While I was out of it they put a drain back in my skull to drain the fluid that had collected under there.  They told me they were going to have to put a shunt in to drain the fluid down to my abdomen where the fluid will just reabsorb into my body.  But they couldn't do the surgery right away because I had a temperature and they weren't sure if it was from an infection or what.  They couldn't do the surgery if I had an infection.  So they made me wait and wait. 

If I remember right...Monday was the day that my dad headed back to AZ and my brother Scott was supposed to leave on Tuesday.  He skipped his flight to and got a new one to fly out on Wednesday so he could stay and help with stuff.  I thought it was funny that while my brother and dad were in town to help, I was doing pretty well, it wasn't until they left or were about to leave that I really needed help!  ha ha.  My brother and Laurel both came to visit me on Wednesday at the same time and it was fun chatting and watching The Price is Right with them.  

Anyway, finally on Thursday the nurses told me I was going to have the surgery to place the shunt so I couldn't eat until after the surgery.  I remember being told I would probably get a catheter for during the surgery so I didn't worry about going to the bathroom before they wheeled me away.  When I got to the operating room I remember them wheeling me in and I was talking to Dr. House.  I asked if I was going to be getting a catheter and he said probably not because the surgery should only take like an hour and a half.  I was a little bit worried about peeing myself during the surgery but before I could say anything about it the whole room started to spin.  I think he asked me if I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't answer him because the room was spinning around.  ha ha.  But I guess I did ok, because nobody said anything.  :)

I woke up with an oxygen mask on my face.  I talked to Rob for a little bit and then Dr. House and the special nurses that were always with him came into my room.  I asked if I could take off the oxygen mask because it was really bugging me and drying out my mouth and nose.  They said I could.  Thank goodness!!! 

This was me soon after I woke up from them putting the drain in my head (left) and soon after waking up from the first surgery (right). 

They put the shunt in between the dura and the brain.  So it wasn't in my ventricles, it was kinda on top of my brain.  They thought that would be good.  I don't remember much about after that first surgery.  Apparently I started having a headache that night.  I think they took me for a CT scan to check things out.  Dr. House thought we should put the shunt into the ventricles after looking at the scan.  He said it was common because of swelling and stuff that the shunt would move around.He thought that might have been what happened.  He wanted to move the shunt into my ventricles the next day.  

This time when they wheeled me into the operating room I remember all the way up until they transferred me onto the operating table.  I thought it was funny that each time I went in I remembered just a little bit more.  

I came out of surgery and they finally brought me food but I wasn't feeling like eating.  I tried to force myself to eat some apples and pretzels because I knew that if I didn't eat they wouldn't let me go home.  Once when Dr. House came in to see me, as he was leaving, my mom and I overheard him say "That's not normal."   I don't remember what it was about, but it made me a little nervous.  

By Sunday they finally said I could go home.  I was feeling a little better.  Enough to force myself to eat when they brought me food.  They had changed my medication so maybe that's why I was feeling better.  

My mom took this picture and highlighted all of the places where I had an iv or something else sticking into me.  The worst part was that whenever I bent my arms and alarm would go off because I had an iv there and it would pinch off the iv or something.  I'm still not exactly sure why the alarm would go off, but I learned to sleep without moving my arms!  ha ha.

Rob's aunt Bonita and two of her grand kids came to visit us in the hospital.  She couldn't come up to my room because I was still on the 4th floor and no kids allowed on that floor.  So Rob went down and said hello to her and visited with her.  One of the little girls apparently got her head stuck in a tight space down there.  Rob had to help her get it out.  He said multiple nurses walked right on by as he was trying to pull her head out.  ha ha.  He eventually got it out.  She was fine.  

This was my happy dance when they finally let me out of the hospital!   I wasn't feeling super great yet, but I was happy that I could go home and see my kids!

This is what my head looked like after my 3rd surgery.  Pretty scary huh?!  I called it my Frankenstein scar.  I was worried about how it would look when it was healed.  It looks much better now.  :)

I got home from the hospital on Sunday and things were looking up.  I was having more energy and was able to do more things around the house.  I mostly laid around though because I was scared that if I did too much I would end up back in the ER.  I did NOT want that. The next Sunday evening I started to notice that I was having double vision.  At this point it wasn't too bad and if I concentrated hard enough I could correct it.  The next day was Monday.  The double vision started getting worse.  I remember I walked out into the living room and my mom said "Lindsey, your eyes are crossed!"  No wonder I'm seeing double if my eyes are crossed.  By the early afternoon it was just getting worse and we decided I should probably go into the ER again.  Ugh.  Mondays are the worst.  Every ER trip that I made was on a Monday!  So I called Rob to see if he could come home about an hour early to take me to the ER.  He headed home and we went in.  Nobody was there waiting so they brought us right back.  On our way out later that night it was packed.  Tons of people waiting.  We got there right at the right time!  I got another CT scan and I think I also got an xray to check and make sure the shunt was looking ok.  Everything looked good and they said basically my brain is adjusting to not having fluid in it anymore so that might be why I'm seeing double.  They asked me questions like "are the images side by side or up and down?" so I guess that makes a difference. 

So here are some pictures of my cross eyes.  They aren't crossed anymore, but I'm still seeing double only if I look to the left with my eyes.  Hopefully they continue to get better.

I was wearing an eye patch on my eye for a while but that was bugging me.  It would get itchy and sweaty in there and it would touch my eye lashes which was annoying.  So I switched to wearing that sleep mask just over one eye.  It was much more comfortable.  Then I went to an appt with a Neuro-Opthamologist and he told me I could just get some plain glasses without a prescription and put tape over one side.  My mom suggested that I use my washi tape to pretty it up a bit.  I loved that suggestion! 

Now i try to only wear the glasses when I'm driving to hopefully help my left eye heal faster.  The Dr. said it could take weeks to months to heal.  I was hoping for weeks, but it has been over a month now that I've been seeing double.  We will see what happens.  Hopefully it will go away, but if not, they have prism stickers they can put on glasses for me I think. 

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Back to the ER

So after I got home (on Tuesday) I was doing pretty well.  I mostly lounged around on the couch watching all the chaos going on around me.  ha ha.  I did well for a few days then on Friday night I got a call saying that I left my boots in my room at the hospital.  My mom and I went to get them Saturday morning.  Whenever I would move a lot I would hear dripping noises in my head.  It was weird.  But we got my boots, then my mom and I went to Smiths and later I think we went to Costco.  I was tired so the rest of the day I just lounged around.  By Sunday I was just laying on the couch and whenever I stood or sat up my head would pound.  So I would wait hours to bring myself to get up to go to the bathroom because it hurt my head.

On Monday it was  the same thing.  I pretty much stayed on the couch all day and finally after Rob put the kids to bed, I sat up because I had to go to the bathroom.  My head was really hurting now.  Rob had to accompany me to the bathroom.  My mom suggested we go in to the ER and we agreed we probably should since it was so bad.  Rob helped me into the car (I was in my pajamas-I think I had been wearing them all day) and we were off to the ER.  I had to lay back and keep my eyes closed the whole way because my head was just hurting so bad.  We got there and I managed to walk over to a wheelchair that was in the entryway of the ER and he wheeled me up to get checked in.  I was closing my eyes and had my hands on my head the whole time.  After they took our info, they told Rob to take me over to the waiting area where everyone else was waiting.  So he wheeled me over there and then said LOUDLY "Did they not hear the part about you having BRAIN SURGERY???".  I told him to quiet down and that I was sure they did hear that. I didn't see this because I kept my eyes closed, but he said that people in the waiting area would look over at him and he would glare at them and they would quickly look away.  LAter on he said he felt like he needed to apologize to them.  I told him it was fine and he didn't need to. After about 5 minutes of waiting they called me into a side room and took my vitals.  Right when I got in there, I felt like I was going to get sick.  They got me a barf bag just in time.  I'm so glad I didn't throw up out with everyone else staring at me.

They gave me a room right away and then they took me back for a CT scan.  I was glad it wasn't going to be an MRI because those take like 30 minutes and the CT scan takes about 5 minutes.  So they wheeled me over to get that done while Rob updated everyone (my mom mostly) on what was going on.  After my CT scan came back pretty normal looking they said they were going to release me to go home.  I mentioned to Rob that I wanted to stay in the bed until the pain medication they were going to give me kicked in.  The nurse kinda laughed when Rob relayed the message to the nurse.  She said that there were like 200 people in the waiting room waiting for a room so we pretty much needed to get out ASAP.  So we hurried and got dressed so they could discharge us and kept apologizing.  Then she felt bad for making us feel like they were too busy to take care of us so she helped walk us out to the car and move the car seats out of the way so I could lay down on the way home.  She also gave me like 4 of those cool barf bags and said she never goes anywhere without one.  ha ha.  She tried to bribe me with barf bags!  It pretty much worked because I was so glad to have those later.

The next day I laid around pretty much all day scared to move much because I was afraid my head was going to hurt if I did.  I had to use the bathroom, but I didn't want to get up.  I waited all day on the couch.  Then I had to go to my room to go to bed, so Rob and my dad came up with a clever way to make it so I didn't have to get up.  I just had to roll off the couch onto the sleeping bag. 

And I finally made it to the bathroom!  It still took me about 10 minutes to force myself to get up and go, but I finally did and then went to bed.

The next day was my follow up appointment with my neurosurgeon. I was worried about my head hurting really bad when I went to my appointment that afternoon so I took the strong medication all day.  I didn't have a headache which was good, but as my mom was driving me to my appt I started to feel sick.  I closed my eyes again all the way to the hospital.  We got there and I had my mom take a before picture of my staples...

Then we went in all the way on the top floor and just as I sat down in the waiting room I felt really sick.  Fortunately I had grabbed one of those barf bags that the ER nurse had given me because they didn't have any at the Dr. office.  So I just threw up in the waiting room because the bathroom was really far away.  My mom was nice enough to find me another barf bag and took the other one all the way down to the bathroom.  Then they called me back to see the Dr.  He came in and saw the barf bag in my hand and said "uh oh...that's not a good sign..."   I told him that the medicine was making me sick.  Then he talked to us and answered all my questions.  He said things were looking good and he told me to just take Ibuprofen and Tylenol alternating throughout the day.  He also prescribed me anti-nausea pills to take with the stronger medication just in case I needed to take it again.  Then pretty much right after he left, I threw up again right before the nurse came in to take my staples out.  She went on a hunt for another barf bag, but there weren't any.  So she gave me a little biohazard ziploc bag to use just in case I needed it.  Then she took the staples and and to my surprise it didn't hurt at all.  She let me keep the staples and tools she used to take them out to show the kids.  On the way home I threw up one more time.  Then I was done.  :)

Here is an after shot.  Kinda gross with all the dried blood still in there, but this is what it looked like.  

We went home and the next few days were great.  I was up and moving around more than the past few days.  I was liking this new Tylenol and Ibuprofen routine.  I even went to church for sacrament meeting that Sunday.  I had my mom take a family picture since I was up and dressed for the day:

It felt good to get out of the house for just a little bit.  After I got home, I took a nap and mostly laid around for the rest of the day.  I kept up on my pain medication though.  I slept well that night. 

I have to add that this whole time Rob was getting up with Finley in the middle of the night and feeding her so I could rest.  He was amazing.  And then my mom would get up with her if she woke up early in the morning.  They had shifts.  Rob did the middle of the night and my mom would do pretty  much anything past 4:00 am.  And I just slept.  Or tried to.  I felt bad not helping.  But they made a great team and gave me lots of opportunities to rest.  Thank you!

Then on Monday things took a turn for the worse....To be continued

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Life at Home...for a while at least

 So I got home from the hospital on Jan. 2nd.  Before I left the hospital I remember asking one of my ICU nurses if it was normal to hear dripping noises in my head when I stood up.  She just looked at me with a shocked that worried me a bit.  ha ha.  But the surgeon said it was normal.  So I didn't worry about it.  I just assume everything that happens is normal since I've never had brain surgery before.  :)  Here are some of the things that went on when I got home the first time...

 Sadie was such a big help with Finley.  She still is.  She loves to get her when she wakes up from naps.  And she helps with things even when I know she doesn't want to.  One time she asked me if I needed her to do a certain thing (I don't remember what it was...) but I told her I could do it.  Then she said "Oh good...I didn't really want to do it but I didn't want you to have to do it if you didn't want to."  What a sweetie.

 I got the beans out for the kids to play with and it kept them busy for a whole afternoon.  And there wasn't a huge mess to clean up after either!

 Rob is such a great dad.  These girls just love it when he will carry them around the house.  :)

 One morning Finley was up and my mom was taking care of her.  I wanted to hold her for a bit because she was fed and changed.  (I wasn't supposed to lift her so i just held her on my lap on the couch.)  I noticed she was getting a little fussy so I wrapped her up and she fell right to sleep in my arms.  It was just what my heart needed.  I was feeling so not helpful and felt bad just watching everyone (mostly my mom) running around and doing everything that I usually do.  So to be able to put Finley to sleep made me feel a little better.  And I love the picture on the right.  Finley with a little milk beard. 

 We usually measure the kids every New Years Day, but we couldn't this year since I was in the hospital.  So we did it a few days late, but thats ok!

 Riley keeping me company on the couch.  

 The girls made names for all our little pet shop animals.  They made labels and set them all up in the basement.  It kept them busy for a long time. 

 Uncle Scott came up to Utah to help out.  He played games with the kids.  They love Uncle Scott!

 My dad was in town for a while too. The kids love having him around too!  (they also loved having grandma around...but by this time she had been here for a while...) Finley was going to go for a walk outside so we had to pull out the bear suit.

 Sadie had her braces taken off.  I was able to go with her to that appt.  It took a lot out of me. So when I got home I had to lay down for a while.

 My hair got really matter from laying in a hospital bed for like a week.  My mom came to the rescue and brushed it out for me.  

 Here is the before and after.  I think the day after this I was finally able to wash it!
 Laurel came over and set up a "rainbow day" for us!  The kids loved coming home from school to this fun table!  We may have to make this a tradition!
Thanks Laurel!

 These were taken at the orthodontist.  Finley was so cute just chillin in the chair.  And Sadie got new pictures taken of her teeth.

 Shout out to grandma.  She did SO much while she was here...She put her whole life in AZ on hold for over a month so she could help us out.  We are so grateful for grandma!  Thank you!

 Finley smiling...and going for a short walk to pick up the kids from school. 

 Building cup towers.  Someone brought us a basket filled with minute to win it games.  The kids had a blast playing all the games and then with the cups afterward they built tall cup towers.  It was so fun!

 The kids dressed up as old people for the 100th day of school.

 Then they had crazy hair day.  Sadie's is a cupcake. Zac's is just sprayed white. Emery had a cool pipe cleaner with beads coming out of her ponytail.

 Cute Finley
 We celebrated New Year's Eve late since I wasn't home for it.  We did poppers and had sparkling cider one day after school.  It was fun.

Finley getting a bath in the sink.  I think she liked it!

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Finley's first laughs...

Happened in my hospital room.  This girl loves her daddy!

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Surgery and recovery

 It's really hard to sleep knowing that in the morning, the doctors are going to put you to sleep and cut your head opened and dig around in your brain.  I hadn't slept the night before thinking my surgery was going to be on Friday, and I didn't sleep again Friday night.  Also when you are on an ICU floor, the nurses come in and do checks on you every 2 hours instead of every 4 hours so there really is no sleeping.  As soon as I would drift off, another nurse would come in and wake me up.  Then usually by about 4 am I was so tired and would try to get to sleep but that is when the blood person would come in and take my blood.  Why they had to do it at 4am...I have no idea.  But while I was on the 4th floor every time they came in around 4 in the morning to do a blood draw.  I must say they were very good at it and it didn't really hurt much.  Finally Saturday morning came and around 7am they came in a wheeled me down to the OR.  First they parked my bed in the hallway and dismissed ROb to the waiting room and the anesthesiologist came and talked to me.  Then Dr. House came and asked me if I had any questions before surgery.  I burst into tears and asked "Am I going to wake up in the middle of the operation?" He said "that's a question for him" referring to the anesthesiologist.  So he said "I'm going to try to make it so that doesn't happen."  For some reason that made me feel better at the time but now that I think of it, it's not a very good answer.  ha ha.  He's going to TRY?!?!  He did a good job though because I don't think I woke up.  :) Then I remember him putting something in my IV and I started to get nervous.  I asked him if this was going to put me to sleep and he said "no, not yet...this is just a little something that is going to make my jokes funnier."  That made me laugh and then they wheeled me into the OR.  I saw my surgeon looking on the computer and a big bright light above the bed they were going to put me on.

The next thing I remember is waking up in my hospital room and Rob was right there by me.  It really is weird how it felt like one minute to me but it actually took about 4 hours (or 4 and a half. I don't remember) Poor Rob had to wait that long for me to be done but for me it was just a short moment.  I remember Brother Hogan from our ward being there when I woke up because he came to keep Rob company while I was in surgery.  I also remember our good friend Hyrum Lefler being there when I woke up.  He said something like "If I had known you would be awake I would have sent Tessa".  Tessa is his wife who is my good friend.  I had a drain sticking out of my head to drain the brain fluid.  Tessa did end up coming by later that day and saying hello and brought me a beautiful orchid (which she had to leave outside my room at the nurses station because they don't allow flowers in the rooms on the 4th floor).

On Sunday my friends Robyn Green, Marcy Lloyd and Laurel came to visit.  It was good to have them there because it really helped my day go faster.  The next day Crys and Alan came by and our bishop and his wife Janice (who is a good friend) came by for a bit.

A few people sent me flowers while I was in the hospital.  They made my room look so pretty!  These ones were from my grandma and her dog Billie.  :)

This was soon after I woke up from surgery. That reddish fluid is my brain fluid.  They had to adjust it so it was even with my ear.  There was a laser light that would show the nurses if it was lined up right.  So if i ever wanted to adjust my bed or sit up or anything I had to call a nurse into my room so they could adjust the drain thing.  Most of the time I just wouldn't move because I didn't want to bother the nurses.  ha ha.  

My feet stayed cute and warm because my friend Laurel supplied me with these cute socks.

One of my nurses was all about me not staying in bed.  She wanted me to get up and eat my meals in this chair so I could get out of the hospital faster.

Picture of my staples.

There is my drain.  Whenever I stood up it would leak down my face and so one of the PAs put in a stitch to try to stop it.  It didn't really work so they eventually just pulled the drain out and put in a couple stitches to close up the hole in hopes that it would stop leaking down my face and that my brain would start reabsorbing the fluid like it was supposed to.

Me with my vitals in the background.  When the drain was in my head there was something that measured the pressure in my head.  They wanted it to be around 10-15 but whenever I would cry it would go way higher.  Then a nurse would come in to check on it because an alarm would go off and I would have to tell them I was crying and that is why the number was high.  Ha ha.  

Rob came on New Year's Eve and we toasted with Martinelli's courtesy of Laurel.  We even used these fun fancy plastic cups. :)  We were both so tired that we did it way before midnight. 

The food at the hospital was pretty good most of the time.  Especially when I got to order what I wanted.   A lot of the time because of the timing of my surgeries I just had to get a plate that was leftover.  This was by far the WORST one I got.  That's about all I ate of it too.  I think I ate the oranges also.  But it was pretty bad.  Most of my other meals were really good though.

When I told them my drain would leak every time I stood up this was their solution.  Just tape a big piece of gauze on the side of my face.  

Laurel also braided my hair to the side for me one of the days she was at the hospital.  

Kinda gross looking but this is what my head looked like until I got the staples out.  A lot of the nurses kept telling me he did such a great job on my head shaving.  They said a lot of doctors shave a lot more off than that so I was looking good.  I'm grateful that he didn't take more hair than he had to.  :)

I finally got to take a shower!!!  They had to tape up my IV and I got to wear a cool shower cap to keep my incision dry.  

My room was right by the Helicopter pad.  I would hear it start up and then run over to watch it take off.  It was a cool view.

My mom brought Finley to visit when I was moved up to the 14th floor.  I was so happy to see her!  

For some reason one night for dinner, they gave me two pieces of cake.  They were both delicious.  And one night I looked out my window and the moon was so big and beautiful.  The picture doesn't even begin to do it justice!

Here I am enjoying a king size Snickers bar from Laurel.  And yes, I ate the whole thing in one sitting. 

Finley played with a (clean) barf bag while she was visiting.  

After my surgery while waiting in the hospital I thought about how it was so great that Finley was already taking a bottle before this all happened.  If she hadn't been this would have all been so much harder.  When she first took a bottle so easily I remember having the thought that maybe it's because she will need to take a bottle later on for one reason or another.  Well...I was right.  I had to stop nursing her rather abruptly and she did just fine because before she wasn't getting enough from me.  So I would feed her and then have to top her off with formula. So that made it so much easier to stop nursing her knowing she would drink from a bottle just fine.  None of my other kids did well with a bottle.

Also the fact that she came a month early is a blessing.  She was completely healthy but I think that her coming early helped my body tell me that something wasn't right so we caught it before it was too late. Like I said my ventricles were about 10 times the normal size and if it had gotten much worse, who knows what could have happened.  

They said I would be in the hospital about a week after the surgery for recovery.  I remember I could hear dripping in my head and fluid kinda sloshing around in there whenever I would move a lot or get up to go to the bathroom.  They said that was "normal" but when I told my nurse she looked at me like it was crazy.  Ha ha.  She needs to work on her poker face.  She made me nervous about it.  The surgeon assured me it was ok.  

They surprised me on Tuesday (just 3 days after the surgery) saying I could go home that day if I wanted to.  That made me nervous.  I just had brain surgery!  And they are going to let me just leave?!?!  So I told the nurse that it made me nervous to leave and she said to just let her know if I decided I wanted to go home.  I thought about it most of the day and by evening I told them I was ready.  So they got my paperwork done and just let me go home.  They wheeled me out in a wheelchair and my mom drove me home.  It was so nice to be home but I was still nervous not being close to a Dr. at all times. 

Here we are in the elevator heading to the car.