Surgery and recovery

 It's really hard to sleep knowing that in the morning, the doctors are going to put you to sleep and cut your head opened and dig around in your brain.  I hadn't slept the night before thinking my surgery was going to be on Friday, and I didn't sleep again Friday night.  Also when you are on an ICU floor, the nurses come in and do checks on you every 2 hours instead of every 4 hours so there really is no sleeping.  As soon as I would drift off, another nurse would come in and wake me up.  Then usually by about 4 am I was so tired and would try to get to sleep but that is when the blood person would come in and take my blood.  Why they had to do it at 4am...I have no idea.  But while I was on the 4th floor every time they came in around 4 in the morning to do a blood draw.  I must say they were very good at it and it didn't really hurt much.  Finally Saturday morning came and around 7am they came in a wheeled me down to the OR.  First they parked my bed in the hallway and dismissed ROb to the waiting room and the anesthesiologist came and talked to me.  Then Dr. House came and asked me if I had any questions before surgery.  I burst into tears and asked "Am I going to wake up in the middle of the operation?" He said "that's a question for him" referring to the anesthesiologist.  So he said "I'm going to try to make it so that doesn't happen."  For some reason that made me feel better at the time but now that I think of it, it's not a very good answer.  ha ha.  He's going to TRY?!?!  He did a good job though because I don't think I woke up.  :) Then I remember him putting something in my IV and I started to get nervous.  I asked him if this was going to put me to sleep and he said "no, not yet...this is just a little something that is going to make my jokes funnier."  That made me laugh and then they wheeled me into the OR.  I saw my surgeon looking on the computer and a big bright light above the bed they were going to put me on.

The next thing I remember is waking up in my hospital room and Rob was right there by me.  It really is weird how it felt like one minute to me but it actually took about 4 hours (or 4 and a half. I don't remember) Poor Rob had to wait that long for me to be done but for me it was just a short moment.  I remember Brother Hogan from our ward being there when I woke up because he came to keep Rob company while I was in surgery.  I also remember our good friend Hyrum Lefler being there when I woke up.  He said something like "If I had known you would be awake I would have sent Tessa".  Tessa is his wife who is my good friend.  I had a drain sticking out of my head to drain the brain fluid.  Tessa did end up coming by later that day and saying hello and brought me a beautiful orchid (which she had to leave outside my room at the nurses station because they don't allow flowers in the rooms on the 4th floor).

On Sunday my friends Robyn Green, Marcy Lloyd and Laurel came to visit.  It was good to have them there because it really helped my day go faster.  The next day Crys and Alan came by and our bishop and his wife Janice (who is a good friend) came by for a bit.

A few people sent me flowers while I was in the hospital.  They made my room look so pretty!  These ones were from my grandma and her dog Billie.  :)

This was soon after I woke up from surgery. That reddish fluid is my brain fluid.  They had to adjust it so it was even with my ear.  There was a laser light that would show the nurses if it was lined up right.  So if i ever wanted to adjust my bed or sit up or anything I had to call a nurse into my room so they could adjust the drain thing.  Most of the time I just wouldn't move because I didn't want to bother the nurses.  ha ha.  

My feet stayed cute and warm because my friend Laurel supplied me with these cute socks.

One of my nurses was all about me not staying in bed.  She wanted me to get up and eat my meals in this chair so I could get out of the hospital faster.

Picture of my staples.

There is my drain.  Whenever I stood up it would leak down my face and so one of the PAs put in a stitch to try to stop it.  It didn't really work so they eventually just pulled the drain out and put in a couple stitches to close up the hole in hopes that it would stop leaking down my face and that my brain would start reabsorbing the fluid like it was supposed to.

Me with my vitals in the background.  When the drain was in my head there was something that measured the pressure in my head.  They wanted it to be around 10-15 but whenever I would cry it would go way higher.  Then a nurse would come in to check on it because an alarm would go off and I would have to tell them I was crying and that is why the number was high.  Ha ha.  

Rob came on New Year's Eve and we toasted with Martinelli's courtesy of Laurel.  We even used these fun fancy plastic cups. :)  We were both so tired that we did it way before midnight. 

The food at the hospital was pretty good most of the time.  Especially when I got to order what I wanted.   A lot of the time because of the timing of my surgeries I just had to get a plate that was leftover.  This was by far the WORST one I got.  That's about all I ate of it too.  I think I ate the oranges also.  But it was pretty bad.  Most of my other meals were really good though.

When I told them my drain would leak every time I stood up this was their solution.  Just tape a big piece of gauze on the side of my face.  

Laurel also braided my hair to the side for me one of the days she was at the hospital.  

Kinda gross looking but this is what my head looked like until I got the staples out.  A lot of the nurses kept telling me he did such a great job on my head shaving.  They said a lot of doctors shave a lot more off than that so I was looking good.  I'm grateful that he didn't take more hair than he had to.  :)

I finally got to take a shower!!!  They had to tape up my IV and I got to wear a cool shower cap to keep my incision dry.  

My room was right by the Helicopter pad.  I would hear it start up and then run over to watch it take off.  It was a cool view.

My mom brought Finley to visit when I was moved up to the 14th floor.  I was so happy to see her!  

For some reason one night for dinner, they gave me two pieces of cake.  They were both delicious.  And one night I looked out my window and the moon was so big and beautiful.  The picture doesn't even begin to do it justice!

Here I am enjoying a king size Snickers bar from Laurel.  And yes, I ate the whole thing in one sitting. 

Finley played with a (clean) barf bag while she was visiting.  

After my surgery while waiting in the hospital I thought about how it was so great that Finley was already taking a bottle before this all happened.  If she hadn't been this would have all been so much harder.  When she first took a bottle so easily I remember having the thought that maybe it's because she will need to take a bottle later on for one reason or another.  Well...I was right.  I had to stop nursing her rather abruptly and she did just fine because before she wasn't getting enough from me.  So I would feed her and then have to top her off with formula. So that made it so much easier to stop nursing her knowing she would drink from a bottle just fine.  None of my other kids did well with a bottle.

Also the fact that she came a month early is a blessing.  She was completely healthy but I think that her coming early helped my body tell me that something wasn't right so we caught it before it was too late. Like I said my ventricles were about 10 times the normal size and if it had gotten much worse, who knows what could have happened.  

They said I would be in the hospital about a week after the surgery for recovery.  I remember I could hear dripping in my head and fluid kinda sloshing around in there whenever I would move a lot or get up to go to the bathroom.  They said that was "normal" but when I told my nurse she looked at me like it was crazy.  Ha ha.  She needs to work on her poker face.  She made me nervous about it.  The surgeon assured me it was ok.  

They surprised me on Tuesday (just 3 days after the surgery) saying I could go home that day if I wanted to.  That made me nervous.  I just had brain surgery!  And they are going to let me just leave?!?!  So I told the nurse that it made me nervous to leave and she said to just let her know if I decided I wanted to go home.  I thought about it most of the day and by evening I told them I was ready.  So they got my paperwork done and just let me go home.  They wheeled me out in a wheelchair and my mom drove me home.  It was so nice to be home but I was still nervous not being close to a Dr. at all times. 

Here we are in the elevator heading to the car.